


When the Song is Over

by girl_next_door_writes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 06:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16868215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girl_next_door_writes/pseuds/girl_next_door_writes
Summary: Dean knows where he wants to be and now he’s decided to put his needs first for a moment, he turns up the radio and thinks about where he is headed.





	When the Song is Over

The last job had been rough. It seemed like each fight was for higher and higher stakes, each getting a little harder. Maybe it was just age and ‘bad diet’ catching up with him, maybe hunting was a younger man’s game. This wasn’t the first time these thoughts had crossed his mind. Bruises seemed to take a little longer to heal, falls left aches that he could have sworn he never felt before and the reality that he no longer wanted to go down in a blaze of glory had been seeping into his consciousness. He wanted time. He wanted a meaningful time.

The road passed beneath him in a blur, his foot down as he drove into the rising sun. Flicking the radio on his breath stuttered for a moment. Of all the songs that could be playing it had to be this one, the one song he had avoided for so long because it was you, it was as if someone had taken everything he had ever felt about you and placed it to music. He thought about you waking up, switching your radio on and wondering if you’d be hearing the same song? If the music would connect the two of you no matter the distance? A small smile played on his lips as he pictured the scene. Your hair a mess, the soft lines from your crumpled pillow indented on your cheek as you stretched and yawned, not really wanting to wake but knowing the day would start with or without you. He imagined the radio clicking on and this song, the song he thought or as ‘yours,’ filling the air. Would you smile? Would you think of him? 

Glancing at the empty seat beside him the memory of you sitting there, singing along to the radio, the pair of you making up lyrics and laughing together ran through his mind. The smile on his face grew into a half grin, and he knew he was doing the right thing. There was no way something that made him feel so elated, something that felt so right could be wrong and he wondered why he hadn’t done this sooner? He’d known where you were, had been sure to keep tabs on you just in case. He had sacrificed so much, had lost even more over the years. Was that how it was supposed to be? Him and Sammy alone and broken? That wasn’t fair. That wasn’t what he signed up for, not what he wanted. Driving away from you had been one of the hardest things he had ever done and now, driving back to you, he didn’t even need to think about it, his body on autopilot as it found its way back to you.

He knew he didn’t have much, couldn’t offer you the life you deserved, but damn it if he wouldn’t give you everything he had. If time was all, he had then he sure as hell wanted to waste all that time on you, to give you every moment he could. He wanted to lay beside you, watching you wake each morning, the soft, lazy smiles exchanged as you both reveled in the haze of not entirely conscious. He craved the sensations of your weight against him as his eyes closed, the reassuring warmth from your body allowing him to drift to sleep without the need for alcohol. He longed for those small shared moments, looking over a book and making eye contact, sharing a soft smile as you researched something, reaching for the popcorn together and your hand brushing his lightly, watching you absentmindedly running your fingertips over Baby as you make your way to the passenger side. Oh, he knew there would be raging arguments and looks of disappointment that would damn near break his heart. There would be heartfelt apologies and working together to figure out how to navigate together through this weird and dangerous life, but you were worth it. You’d always been worth it. Before you, he could pretend he didn’t want that life, didn’t want a relationship, then there you were, and it had felt so good. He should have told you. If he could turn it back, all the time spent apart, he would tell you over and over exactly how beautiful you were to him, how unique and precious and amazing. He’d thought he could go back to how he was before you, that if you weren’t there then this longing would disappear but knowing you existed, that you were out there in the world and that someone else could be taking the opportunity to say all those words he had never managed to utter, that broke his heart over and over.

The sky was getting lighter, the reds giving way to the blues as the sun began its ascent. He knew he was close now. The doubts in the back of his mind were growing louder the nearer he got. What if too much time had passed? What if you’d met someone else? What if you didn’t want him? Maybe you had no room for him in your life now. The fields he had been racing past were turned into homes, his speed slowing as he searched the street signs. Flicking his indicator he took a left, pulling up not too far along the road in front of a completely ordinary looking house. 

Switching off the engine, he sat there, torn. This was stupid, he was stupid to think this would work. It wasn’t even like you two had been together. He’d never told you how he felt, how could he? You were this amazing ray of light in his dark world, and he knew keeping you would extinguish that light, he couldn’t do it. This was selfish of him. He had been so tired of playing possible conversations with you over in his head, sick of talking to an empty space, of the silence, the void your absence had created, keeping him awake at night. He had pushed you to get out. He had saved you. What the hell did he think he was doing sitting here, about to pull you back in just because he was in love with you.

“Dean?” he had been so lost in his thoughts he hadn’t noticed you coming out of your front door, making your way over to the familiar car and knocking lightly on the window. The curious look you were giving him pulled him from his position, and he quickly opened the door and climbed out.

“Hi.” That was all he managed to say before you pulled him into a tight hug. A hug that felt like it lasted for an eternity. Closing his eyes, he nuzzled into your hair, a small smile playing on his lips as his heart told him this was exactly where he should be.


End file.
